\The 90-minute nap from near the end of the Miami-Florida game and the start of the big Texas A&M-Notre Dame game had me primed to complete the Guru challenge on Saturday.
Since meeting him, I have vowed to make it from the start of ESPN Gameday to the final horn of the final game. I have failed miserably every year. But with the stars aligned â my wife was visiting family â this would be it.
Had I only known what would derail that effort …
There is something about Rece Davisâ opening Saturday morning with the drone footage of thousands of rowdy college students sets me off. There is an energy and passion that makes me want to tackle someone.
Ten minutes in, the show becomes almost unwatchable. There are too many analysts, led by the annoying Pat McAfee.
I tuned back in at 10:40 a.m. for predictions, to see the aging Lee Corso continue the schtick with his headgear then settled in. But what game first? Penn State vs. West Virginia or Georgia-Clemson? Who am I kidding? We have more TVs in our house than a Super 8. Up went the second TV, right on our rescue dog Uncle Leoâs kennel.Â
Many years ago, my brother and his wife started saying âcoolâ â everything was cool. Letâs go out? Cool. I need to pee? Cool. It sure is hot outside. Cool.
An hour from insanity, I went on the offensive and let them know about it. Then every time they said âcool,â I would shoot a âtsk tskâ look. Eventually, they kicked the habit.
The same brother became addicted to âlikeâ and, again, I played superhero, weaning him off âlike.â Itâs a stupid filler word that once was quarantined to teeny-bopper girls but has spread like COVID-19. Iâve seen the proliferation of âliterallyâ to the point of wanting to jump off the roof. Literally.Â
A newer one is people feeling it necessary to say ârightâ while giving an answer. And it, too, is spreading. Just listen. âSo quarterback Joe Evans â heâs a runner first, right? â then he looks for the pass.âÂ
From Week 1 of watching college football, we have reached the pandemic stage of the word âlegend.â I can see Jim the Bossâ face right now, since he has been listening to Mark Thornton complain about the use of the word legend for 20 years. I get it. But, for the love of god …
Every game, there was a legend reference. The punterâs father was an Aussie rugby legend … He grew up in Ohio, son of a legendary coach … Tommy Schmaltz, legendary groundskeeper, announced his retirement after 54 years … AARRRGGHHH!
OK, thanks, rant over.Â
Sunday night, a wide receiver from Southern Cal leaped high into the air, snagged a football with one hand â falling backward with defenders all over him â cradled it into his chest and fell to the ground. An amazing catch if these eyes have ever seen one.
Then, Kirk Herbstreit pipes in, saying the refs might want to take an extra look at this one. As if on cue, refs take another look.
From seven different angles with super slow-mo, back slow-mo, more slow mo … The ball might have had just a shimmy at the end … is this a catch? Letâs go to rules analyst Buster Stripes …
It was a catch, even after replay. The overall effectiveness of replay came into question several times Saturday, though, the most glaring being a run in the Notre Dame game. It was fourth down, the guy was stopped a whole yard short. The side judge starts to run to the spot, then bolts right for a much more beneficial spot. First down. This one, though, was not even close. No part of his body neared the first-down line. After a few minutes, âthe ruling on the field stands. First down.â Go figure.
My first week of picks ended at 8-2. I lost LSU and, for some reason, I decided to roll the dice with my beloved Golden Eagles.
I lost the game. I lost my sobriety. I lost the Guru challenge. All because of the Golden Eagles. In todayâs college landscape, USM cannot compete on a top level, unless some serious alumni money comes in to buy some elite talent.
Kentucky is a good team, but Southern Miss made it look like the 2019 LSU Tigers. Going to be a mighty tough year in Hattiesburg.Â
Outside of the 11 a.m. Texas-Michigan game, Week 2 is pretty ho-hum. But that Michigan-Texas game will be a dandy â and it is always fun to listen to Foxâs Gus Johnson hyperventilate on a 3-yard quarterback sneak!
If you are a planner, put Oct. 12 and Nov. 9 in the calendar for two unbelievable college football Saturdays.
My Final Four as of today â Texas, Miami, Georgia and Ohio State. Â
I recently celebrated my 50th birthday. When Oklahoma State sent punter Hudson Kaak onto the field, I chuckled.Â
Iâm never going to grow up.Â
